Apocalypse Review

Welfare Queen Bezos Spotted Driving Lamborghini

Notorious welfare Queen Jeffrey Bezos was spotted today driving a sports car through Queens and Brooklyn this weekend. 

In some ways Bezos brazen display of wealth is the mirror image to his namesake, Lynda Taylor, the Chicago welfare Queen Ronald Reagan made famous.

Despite the differences – Bezos drove a Barbi Lamborghini while Taylor drove a Cadillac, Bezos is the richest man in the world and Taylor was a small time huckster, Bezos has received billions in welfare, Taylor only $180,000 – there are similarities as well, ranging from big hair to care-free flamboyancy.

Welfare Queen Jeff Bezos, disguised as James Brown, is caught on camera driving his Barbie Lamboghini. His detractors are outraged that he should publicly flaunt his immense wealth while receiving welfare. His proponents note that because the Barbie Lamborghini he is driving is powered by pure love it only produces psychedelic daisies as exhaust.
… And in both cases, politicians are howling about welfare abuse. But in Bezos’ case, it is progressives howling, not conservatives. Several freshmen Congress members are reputedly talking about attaching conditions to Bezos’ welfare payments, for example work requirements that feature inconvenient bus rides to minimum wage jobs. If some of these work conditions get implemented, Bezos might not see his family until the 23rd Century.