Romney Reintroduces Himself as the Guy Who Fired You.

The conservative press was abuzz today when presidential candidate Mitt Romney reintroduced himself to the American people as “the Guy Who Fired You”. Many pundits feel that this may be the most significant Romney reintroduction this electoral cycle. The Apocalypse Review caught up with Alexander Blunt, spokesperson for the Romney campaign to talk about it.

Focus groups revealed that Romney’s biggest strengths, image-wise, are related to his experience as a corporate raider.

AR Press: Its seems that every time I surf the Net, Romney is reintroducing himself.

Blunt: Hah! Not at all. The Governor has only done it seven times, if you include the time he reintroduced himself as “Burt Reynolds” in his senior year in high school.

When Romney reintroduced himself as a Mexican wrestler who was tough on crime, pundits scoffed. Two months later he was Governor of Massachusetts! Unfortunately, the Mexican wrestler motif has not aged well. A recent campaign in New Mexico fell flat with the Hispanic community who felt that the image was “inauthentic” and “surreal”.

AR: Which of Romney’s re-introductions was most successful?

Blunt: “Young Elvis”. We reintroduced that version of Romney during the Senate campaign against Edward Kennedy. Romney’s numbers went off the charts in the Berkshires.

AR: So why not go with “Young Elvis” again? It seems you’re setting the bar pretty low when you reintroduce Romney as “the Guy Who Fired You”.

Blunt: The problem with reintroduction is that it involves the electorate getting to know the candidate better. Whenever that happens with Governor Romney, people dislike him more, so each time we have to set the bar lower. That’s why we’ve decided to reintroduce Romney as a candidate people will hate less, rather than one they’ll like more.

AR: Hate him less, when he fired me?!

Blunt: Sure people have negative associations with being let go. However,
our research shows that fully 53% of likely voters would support “the Guy Who Fired You” before they’d support “the Guy Who Destroyed the Company and Looted the Pension Plan”, which was the other branding option under consideration.

AR: Governor Romney has reintroduced himself seven times. Have you ever thought of simply introducing  him?

Blunt: Not really. Why would we do that?