Sally Field, The Fifth Beatle
Although it was common knowledge in 1966, few people today remember that Sally Field was the fifth Beatle. In this rare photograph Ms. Field makes a cameo appearance on the set of A Hard Day’s Night.
Richard Nixon Plays Drums at Altamont
Many liberals remember President Nixon as an incarnation of the devil, few are aware that he was on-stage at the Altamont Music Festival during the Rolling Stone’s infamous performance of Sympathy for the Devil.
The President was first introduced to Rock ‘N Roll drumming by the Cream drummer Ginger Baker whom he met in Lagos. The two men were so impressed with their mutual “all-in” approach to life that they immediately did ayahuasca together. During the ensuing trip Baker taught Nixon how to drum and the President taught the Cream drummer how to use racist dog-whistles to mobilize Southern voters.
Jackie B’ Discovers Herself at Woodstock
After her husband was tragically murdered, Jackie Kennedy (né Bouvier) went into an extended period of mourning. It wasn’t until almost 4 years later, during the Summer of Love, that she came out of her shell and once again embraced life to the fullest.
Disclaimer: This is a bawdy joke but there is no intention to be disrespectful to Jacqueline Bouvier Kennedy Onassis. Please let the AR editor know if you find this joke offensive.
Abraham Lincoln Plays with a Van de Graaff Generator
On July 10, 1864, 8 year old Nikola Tesla celebrated his birthday by visiting the White House. The mood was grim. The previous day 2,000 soldiers (Confederate and Union) had paid the ultimate sacrifice at an inconclusive battle at Monocacy. President Lincoln was despondent because more needless deaths were imminent. But for one magical hour on that dark day the Serbian-American genius charmed President Lincoln with his wit and fantastical toys.
FDR Wins a Special Olympics Gold Medal (is this too rude?)
Jesse Owens may have stolen the show at the 1936 Berlin Olympics, but that Olympics had a host of other charming side stories we’ve been too quick to forget. One of the less well known is how FDR set a world record for the 100 metre wheel-chair sprint at the Special Olympics, making him the only President to ever win an Olympic gold medal. The event has been forgotten by history because of a strange identity of interests: FDR was very private about his polio disability, so insisted that the media be excluded from his victorious race, while the National Socialists, because of their eugenics theories, were opposed to the Special Olympics being staged at all. Indeed, recently surfaced documents indicate that SS-GruppenführerReinhard Heydrich drafted plans to turn the entire Special Olympics athletic compound into a death camp.
Teddy Roosevelt Shoots an Elephant Dead During a Cabinet Meeting.
Although many people remember Old Rough ‘N Ready for his life-long crusade against corruption in politics, and others remember him as the first President to moot the idea of a universal health care system in the United States, Theodore Roosevelt had a less progressive aspect to his character: he was an avid hunter, whose proclivity for slaughtering big game makes modern day hunters like Donald Trump Jr. seem like weak-chinned panty-waists. In this photograph, President Roosevelt abruptly ends a cabinet discussion by shooting an actual elephant that was in the room (in this case the West Wing of the Whitehouse). The killing was intended to be symbolic – the cabinet had been having a heated discussion about the nefarious impact of money in politics – but the elephant, beloved White House pet Betsy-Boo, nevertheless died.
Gandalf the White Forces John Plantagenet to Sign the Magna Carta
Although it is common knowledge that the blood of Númenor runs true in the veins of the English aristocracy, few people are aware of profound political implications of this connection to Westernesse. In this photograph, taken at Runnymede 607 years before Nicéphore Niépce invented photography, the Valar Wizard Gandalf the White forces John Plantagenet to end the Barons’ War and grant legal rights to aristocrats.
