Apocalypse Review

‘No Child Left Unmeasured’ Act Signed Into Law

By Staff, Apocalypse Review

There was a rare moment of across-the-aisle camaraderie as the President signed the ‘No Child Left Unmeasured’ act into law. The Act is strongly supported by educational consultants because it appears to do something about the low level of achievement of US students, without risking the consequences of action. 

“Its a win win win” notes educational consultant Belinda Jones.  “Educational consultants get lots of work, children get precisely measured – so we can talk in great detail about what we could achieve should resources become available – and best of all, teachers can grow their skills as unpaid data scientists!”

Figure: High-school senior Alex Grove is tested by expensive educational consultants.