The story begins last year, when a 12 year old boy in Hawkins Indiana claims to have fallen through a “rabbit hole” created by experiments at a nearby military research facility, and landed in what the press is fancifully calling the “Rightside Up”.
Although the alternate reality looked very much like our own, the boy knew something was drastically wrong when he was not charged $8,000 by the ambulance company when he was rushed to the hospital for he injuries, and was immediately given treatment despite having neither proof of health insurance nor a credit card. Although his memories about the event were unclear, he distinctly recalls being told at intake, “Of course you’re covered. You’re American aren’t you?”
The idea of health care in the United States being a right of citizenship is so fanciful that when he returned to our reality the boy’s story was immediately discounted. That is until a recent flurry of leaks from the NS*. … examples… The kicker was the production of material evidence for the Rightside-Up in the form of an official copy of the Republican party platform for the 2016 election, which he claims to have picked up from his hospital’s reading room.
“Although we cannot say for certain where the document came from, chemical analysis has definitely indicated that it is not of this world.” reports materials scientist Buzz Jones, of the University of Medicine Hat, in Medicine Hat Nebraska. It is not the paper, but what is written on it, that has set the internet abuzz. Professor Jones adds, “There is nothing in physics/cosmology that says the Republican Party couldn’t balance the budget by taxing America’s richest ten thousand families; nor is it impossible to envision a Republican Party – which claims to put individual liberty front and center in their ideology – actually tolerating gay marriage. Even the bit about outlawing voter suppression is plausible. President Ulysses Grant, for example, was a great champion of voting rights. Why couldn’t a modern Republican be one too?”
“Poppycock” replies Republican Senator Marco Pence. “Let’s start with the bit about gay marriage. Totally fake. You’re forgetting that the Christian God – who is universal, I might add in this world and alternate worlds – hates fags I mean homosexuals I mean log … aw Christ just scratch that from the record. Could you please hand me that dog whistle, my supporters will know what I mean.”