Butigieg Embraces Tiny Habits

“What do we want?”

“Incremental change!”

“When do we want it?”


The crowd is small but spirited.

There is a pause. The air is thick with anticipation. . The emcee then loudly exclaims, “Alright. Two push-ups!”

The crowd as one drops to the ground.

“I see someone doing threeee.” The crowd laughs. Running with the joke, South Bend’s finest says “Its not like we’re comparing penis size – your tiny habit need not conflict with mine – and if my McKinsey training serves me well, you’ll get to your goal 50% faster than me.”

The crowd, again as one, springs to its feet and claps.

What the fuck is going on here? you may wonder.

With Peter Butigieg stuck in the low double digits in the polls as billionaires seek to send their message directly to the American people rather than through surrogates such as him, he’s had to re-orient his campaign in new and interesting ways.